“There is the right timing for everything, but we always realize that later”.
We constantly misunderstanding each other for the little things and often provoke wrath. Feeling disappointed about an action, attitude even our silence can be wrong. A misunderstanding triggers things we don’t want.
That’s why we need communication. Behind all kinds of personalities we have, it feels like communication is the basis of any human relationship. we often hear how important communication is, but not what it is and how can use good communication in our relationship.
“Talk to each other,” they said. No matter how well you know each other, we cannot read other’s minds. “We need to communicate clearly to avoid misunderstandings that may cause hurt, anger resentment, or confusion”. I guess we know it, but only to know not to understand it.
Talk about what is happening and how it affects you, accept responsibility for your own feelings, negotiate, and remember that we don’t have to be right all the time. Be clear about what you want to communicate and think about what you want to say…be aware of our tone of voice.
But, when we communicate, we can say a lot without speaking. Our body posture, tone of voice and the expression on our face all convey a message, a meaning. If our feelings don’t fit with our words, it is often this kind of communication that gets believed.
That’s why listening is important. Listen to someone, put aside our thoughts for the time being and try to understand their intentions, feelings, needs and wants… this is called empathy. Personally, I find immense meaning in the few close relationships that I have. The few relationships that I have are crucial, necessary for my continuous self-growth. We need to feel connected to others, even in our aloneness, so we feel reassured in the tumult of our feelings.
Some people find it hard to talk and may need time and encouragement to express their views. These people may be good listeners, or they may be people whose actions speak louder than their words. Most of us find some topics difficult to talk about. It may be something that is painful or makes us feel uncomfortable. It is often the things that cannot be talked about that hurt the most. For example when I was angry, I will using the silent treatment. I know how bad is it, I want to control my wrath, because I am afraid the words that comes up will hurt them. I prefer to be like that, but not everyone will be pleasant with this attitude, and I know I need to change it.
The one that we need to avoid is don’t jump to conclusions. Find out all the facts rather than guessing at motives. Discuss what actually happened. Don’t judge. Learn to understand each other, not to defeat each other. Talk using the future and present tense, not the past tense.
When you are disappointed, don’t wait to long to say so. When you bottle up your feelings, the river of emotion swells, making it difficult to cross over and speak calmly. Speak up, communicate.